Usually when I write these commentaries I’m trying to reach a broad audience. This week, though, I’m writing to one person.

I don’t know you, but I know a little bit about you. I don’t know your age or gender. I don’t know if you’re a Jordan resident, or just someone who comes here to work. I only know one thing for sure.

You’re an alcoholic.

You drink Fireball whiskey. And Watermelon 99 Proof. And New Amsterdam Vodka. You drink a few other things, too, but those bottles have been sitting by the roadside so long, the labels have faded. Sometimes you drink a can of beer. Sometimes you drink from a bottle of hard liquor. Often, you drink from one of those little airliner sample size bottles.

You travel on one particular Jordan street a lot. And you’ve been doing it for a while. I know this because the labels on bottles you toss vary from recent to faded with age. Your trail was easy to see, even amid the usual detritus of the litterbugs who pass through the area. Recent snowfalls may shield your problem, but come spring it will be out there for everyone to see.

Your problem is not especially my problem, though I hope we are never on the same road at the same time. Every person who drinks too much drinks for a reason. You have your reason. I don’t know if those little bottles are eye openers to help you face the day, or something to take the edge off a bad day at work. I suppose they could be intended to help you weather a bad day at home.

You throw the bottles away before you get home, or to work. You don’t want anyone to know you’ve been drinking. Not your co-workers, nor your family. So you recognize that you have a problem. And it’s not just your problem. It’s theirs too.

Here’s what WebMD says about you: “Some people seem to be just fine even though they abuse alcohol. Experts call these people ‘functional’ or ‘high-functioning’ alcoholics.”

And: “Although it’s now officially called ‘alcohol use disorder,’ you’ll still hear a lot of people talking about ‘alcoholism’ or ‘alcohol abuse.’ It’s a condition that ranges from mild to moderate to severe. And it’s all still problem drinking, even if you think it’s ‘mild.’”

You need to fix the problem.

A good place to start looking for help is

Sadly, COVID throws a wrinkle in Jordan’s Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. They are suspended for now. When they resume, they will be held on Sunday evenings at 6:30 p.m. The meetings will be held at: Valley View AA Group, Valley View Health Care Center, 0.03 miles from the center of Jordan. This is a nice location, just outside of town, and away from prying eyes.

Prior Lake, Shakopee and New Prague also have AA chapters.

Two links for Alcoholics Anonymous are and

The Quote: “Well, I stopped drinking. That was actually a big deal. I didn’t go through any harrowing rock-bottom experience. I just made a decision to stop drinking.” -Josh Radnor

Thom Boncher is a retired marketing communications manager, former Jordan City Council member and Jordan resident since 2003.