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Grieving safely for the dead in a COVID-19 world (copy)

WAYZATA — Not long ago, restrictions on social gatherings weren’t commonplace like they are today, with COVID-19 dominating headlines.

Today, funeral directors say they’re dealing with an ever-changing set of rules surrounding end-of-life procedures.

The Minnesota Department of Health said people can go to funerals, but limits attendees, which must stand six feet apart, to 10.

The ruling came after a brief period suspending all funeral services.


Mortuary service workers are considered essential staff, so they’re allowed to continue jobs like removing deceased people from where they died, prepare bodies, and make other arrangements like cremation.

“Ultimately, funeral homes and providers must comply with these guidelines in order to reduce the spread of the coronavirus, while meeting the needs of grieving families,” a statement from the MDH read.

Directors can still meet in-person with families if absolutely necessary, but virtual meetings and electronic signatures are preferred. They can also schedule private viewings with social distancing rules in place, but it’s a big change from what families and directors alike are used to.

“We are on a lockdown. We’re handcuffed right now,” said Mark Arnold, director at David Lee Funeral Home in Wayzata. “That really puts limits on us at that one point in our time in our careers that we have to tell families, ‘No.’”


Arnold said that two-letter word has consequences for mourning families, since meeting in person is a cornerstone of grieving for many.

“Funerals are all about sharing emotions and sharing someone’s life,” Arnold said. “A lot of that is involved in personal touch, hugging together (and) crying.”

Even delaying a service can be detrimental, he said.

“We always want to capture that moment close to the time of death so you can get that closure,” Arnold said. “Families will have that complicated, compound grief.”

When friends and family put those emotions on hold for a few months or longer, Arnold said it can lead to depression or other life disturbances. It’s especially difficult when someone passes unexpectedly.

“Every part of your body wants to be able to be there with that person that’s passed away suddenly and find some way to connect with someone and also let them go,” he said. “How it affects each family is going to be a little different.”

Though it’s far from ideal, local directors say most people understand.

Chad Willard with Huber Funeral Homes in Eden Prairie said the news hit hard and quickly, but families are cooperative with the new rules.

Willard said one family he’s working with has a memorial service scheduled for the end of June.

“They have already probably accepted that that’s not going to happen,” he said. “It’s easy for me to explain, because I can say, ‘Well, it’s nothing that the funeral home is doing; nothing that the church is doing. It’s just what we’re having to follow in the times that we’re dealing with.”

Arnold said limiting services to 10 people might not be an issue for some families. But for larger families or social groups who want to celebrate someone’s life, they’ll have to wait to all convene together.

Technology is helping meet some of those group needs, by way of webcasting services or arranging funerals for a later date.


Directors are taking extra precautions to keep everyone safe.

Arnold said mortuary service workers are trained to protect everyone around them, living or deceased. This comes in the form of wearing masks, gloves and gowns.

Neither David Lee or Huber funeral homes worked with a COVID-related death as of their interviews, but Arnold said it’s inevitable. He and other directors say they know how to safely prepare and view an infected body.

Willard said the biggest risk comes from removing bodies from where they died and during the embalming process, but they’re ready.

“Funeral homes are all trained to use the catch word: Universal precautions,” Willard said. “You treat everybody like it’s an infectious body.”

Willard said staff use personal protective equipment, or PPE, often — even before COVID-19.

“We had plenty of respiratory masks and face shields to continue business,” he said.


Willard said his funeral home hasn’t had trouble finding priests to perform burial services, despite churches, mosques, synagogues and temples closing across the state.

People are pushing services out months, typically on Fridays and Saturdays. Though it’s harder on funeral staff to juggle the schedule, Willard said it’s what directors are there for.

Families are shifting to cremations instead of burials during this time, he said.

“The trend right now is ‘cremate and wait’ until we get the all-clear to do some of these memorial services,” Willard said.

At the end of the day, funeral homes aren’t exempt from the changes COVID-19 brought to the area.

“This will definitely change us as people. It will change the funeral industry. It will change how we view funerals,” Arnold said. “I hope that it will help us value life and people around us and give us an opportunity to enjoy each other, enjoy family. Then we can possibly find some silver lining in all this in the future.”

A portion of Lake Street in downtown Wayzata will close April 10 for construction of the first phase of the Panoway on Wayzata Bay project.

Ed Attema of Greenwood picked up a growler at Excelsior Brewing Company on Saturday, April 4. Attema says he cycles to the brewery once in a while to support the local business.

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Lake Minnetonka marinas prepare for boating season — whatever it may look like this year

TONKA BAY – Tony Grant was doing some practice casting Monday in his Lake Minnetonka neighborhood, anxiously awaiting “a better time” to get his 16-foot boat into the water.

“We had to wait a lot longer last year to go after the big ones,” Grant, 38, said, noting that his boat and motor are water-ready but his casting needs work. “The ice out is earlier this year, so I can get out there earlier too.”

Some anglers and boaters have already hit the water since the official ice-out date on Lake Minnetonka was declared at 9:48 a.m. on April 2, almost three weeks earlier than last year. It is declared after officials are able to boat through all of the lake’s 37 bays and channels without being obstructed by ice.

“Getting out there never gets old,” Grant said, glancing at the lake. “It’s what we are called to do, enjoy the lakes and catch big ones.”

Boat preparations and docking are underway at a number of marinas, including Tonka Bay Marina and Shorewood Marina, both owned by Gabriel Jabbour and his daughter Gigi.

“It’s going to be a very difficult year,” Jabbour said Monday while donning blue gloves and taking a break from cleaning inside the Shorewood office. “It’s going to be a totally different experience on Lake Minnetonka this year.”

Jabbour, who has “hundreds and hundreds” of boats stored at his facilities during winter months, said sanitization of boats will be imperative at this point, adding that there likely will be a sanitation policy in place for boat owners.

“Things will change out there,” he said, referring to the impact of COVID-19. “There won’t be the gatherings of 400 people or so at Big Island like there used to be. People have to be smart.”

Jabbour said it’s important for his staff to remain healthy as the boating season ramps up.

“If we don’t put your boat in the water for several weeks, the most that happens is you are upset,” he said. “But, if we don’t pull them out of the water in October for several weeks because of sickness, there are hundreds of thousands of dollars, millions, at risk.”

Jabbour said the relatively early ice-out declaration means people are anxious to get out on the water, especially since the virus-related stay-at-home orders.

“It will be nice for people to get out on the water,” he said, adding that many people in years past routinely have done their work at home from their boats. “It just makes you feel better when you’re out there.”

Jay Soule, owner of Al & Alma’s Supper Club and Cruises in Mound, was at Tonka Bay Marina Monday to oversee season preparations for his fleet of seven cruise boats stored at the marina.

“They’re all getting waxed and the bottoms painted for a season of running,” he said, noting that cruises typically start a couple of weeks after ice out. “Everything that needs to be done while they are out of the water is being done.”

When asked about season expectations business-wise, Soule said: “We don’t know. We’re like everybody else. We’re hoping for the best.”

While everyone may, excuse me, be in the same boat, so to speak, Soule emphasized gratitude to his staff and patrons during a difficult time.

“The community has been phenomenal. They’ve been supportive and caring,” he said. “When you are a legacy business and you’ve been around for a long time, they depend on you and you depend on them. We’re seeing that reciprocity happen in this process.

“People generally appreciate that our business is still open for take out,” Soule added. “Our staff is encouraged that people are still coming, but this certainly is a very difficult time.”

Eric Krantz of Tonka Bay, who captains one of the large cruise vessels in summer months, was applying antifouling paint to the bottom of one of those crafts Monday afternoon.

“This is the less glamorous part of the job that a few of us get to do,” he said with a smile. “I’m not too proud to paint a boat or sand it. You do what you can to get ready for the season, even though we’re not too sure exactly how it’s going to go.”